2008 resolution wrap-up December 31, 2008
Posted by deepali in goals.4 comments
This was a pretty good year for goals in my life. I count amongst completed:
Take a vacation. I went to Cambodia, Malaysia, and Utah.
Pay down all of my debt and start aggressively saving. Debt was gone by August, and I am just shy of my 2008 savings goal ($10K) due to having to pay for a class (for which I will be reimbursed in January).
Finish classes and thesis and graduate. I got sign off in October and am just waiting for payment to process for the class above (which is also done), and then I’ll have my official letter.
Take the lead class. I started it in December, but didn’t finish it. But if I were staying longer in the country, I would have revisited in January 2009. Either way, I got to experience it, if not how I expected.
The almost:
Practice Level 3 Yoga regularly. I never got to take a Level 3 class, but I think I would be ok in one. I’m very apprehensive about handstands though, even against the wall.
The ongoing:
Learn to manage anger properly. This one never has a point where you can say you’ve succeeded. But I’ve learned a lot about awareness and patience, and I think I can say I’m much better about anger management than a year ago. Part of this comes from becoming more aware about where anger begins, and what it masks.
Lose 10 pounds Exercise regularly and eat healthily. Ah, the neverending battle against excuses. 
My exercise schedule is much better than it ever has been and come 2009, I’ll be taking dance classes to make up for giving up my climbing membership.
I am still pondering my 2009 goals, and since I’m currently on retreat (this post was scheduled in advance), I’m taking the time to think about this a bit more.
Happy New Year, and best of luck in the year ahead!
december goals: week 4 check-in December 27, 2008
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and an advance on week 5….
1. Take the lead class. Looking to see if I might be able to swing a make-up for the class I missed.
2. Exercise 4x a week. I’ve been walking to/from a friends’ place all week to watch her cats, so lots of walking (about 1-2 miles a day). Also made yoga three times, potentially 4 times.
3. Get rid of books and bookshelf. Still sitting in my room but did manage to get rid of a few other items instead.
And next week I’ll be on retreat, where I’ll get a lot of walking and yoga in.
comfort and joy December 24, 2008
Posted by deepali in happiness, misc.2 comments
Just as the soft rains fill the streams,
pour into the rivers and join together in the oceans,
so may the power of every moment of your goodness
flow forth to awaken and heal all beings,
Those here now, those gone before, those yet to come.By the power of every moment of your goodness
May your heart’s wishes be soon fulfilled
as completely shining as the bright full moon,
as magically as by a wish-fulfilling gem.By the power of every moment of your goodness
May all dangers be averted and all disease be gone.
May no obstacle come across your way.
May you enjoy fulfillment and long life.For all in whose heart dwells respect,
who follow the wisdom and compassion, of the Way,
May your life prosper in the four blessings
of old age, beauty, happiness and strength.–Buddhist blessing
At this time of year, I like to count my blessings.
Some are easy to see, like the way love and luck are so tangibly present in my life. Some are more difficult, like the hard lessons learned in having to let something go.
Some are bittersweet, like watching a friend struggle with something that will never be a trouble for me. Some are gratifying, like sharing a skill or a helping hand.
As we end a year and move into the next, all we have is this present moment. I regret a lot from the past year and anticipate a lot in the new year, but the past is past, and the future is yet to come. Today, right now, I can find comfort and joy in the here-and-now. Blessings and peace to all.
resistance vs acceptance December 22, 2008
Posted by deepali in goals, personal growth.2 comments
What do you do when you face an obstacle? Do you dedicate enormous amounts of effort to remove it from your path? To go around it? Do you sit down in the middle of the road in despair? Do you wait for assistance? Do you veer off the path in a different direction?
I’d say that I’ve tried all of these things at different points of my life. Some work, some don’t; some are worth the effort, some are not. Sometimes, it depends on what the obstacle is, and which path you are on.
I think the one big mistake we make is in assuming that the obstacle is something that should not be there. Indeed, the label “obstacle” already places the entity as something external and unnecessary to ourselves. We can often get so caught up in forging ahead that we might not stop to think about why we are being blocked.
So maybe the obstacle isn’t an obstacle at all. Maybe it’s a warning that you shouldn’t be on this path. Or maybe it’s a sign that you’re missing the right path. Or maybe it’s a way to tell you that you are moving too fast, and you should slow down for a bit and enjoy the journey.
But what if this really is the right path for you? How do you keep forward momentum?
What if, instead of trying to remove the obstacle, we bring it closer to ourselves? What if you expanded your consciousness to take in that obstacle (and for that matter, everything else around you), as something that can become a part of you? Then, it ceases to be an obstacle, and becomes just another life lesson or skill or facet of your journey.
Now, the debt is no longer blocking your way. Instead, it’s a reminder of some past mistakes, and perhaps a tool to help you learn to manage finances in the future. You take that boulder in, break it into its various little pieces, and let it dissolve away.
The same goes for anger, for blame, for the annoying boss, the misbehaving child, the difficult yoga pose, the extreme cold, the fallen souffle. These aren’t obstacles, but opportunities to learn to tweak your perspective.
december goals: week 3 check-in December 20, 2008
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December is flying by!!
1. Take the lead class. I managed to take one class of three, and then it got top busy. Sometimes I am overly ambitious. Still, it was a lot of fun.
2. Exercise 4x a week. No climbing this week but I went to yoga once, took a 2-hour dance class, and yoga today. I also walked home twice this week (so total of 4 miles additional walking).
3. Get rid of books and bookshelf. I am going to try to sell the bookshelf this weekend.
shine your light December 17, 2008
Posted by deepali in personal growth.5 comments
A week or so ago, I posted this. Did you try it? If not, don’t worry. You can start today. Right now. Start by reminding yourself that there is beauty and joy in the world around you, but maybe they are sometimes hidden. Tell yourself that you are a part of that radiance.
If only once, today, you will forgive someone else, or yourself, for some minor failing that means nothing a year from now. You will choose patience over anger. You will choose happiness.
So much of what we do resides in patience and practice. As the saying goes, it doesn’t matter how many times we fall, as long we continue to pick ourselves up and try again.
And if you have managed to remind yourself every morning of just how wonderful and amazing you are, how do you feel today?
carless in the city December 16, 2008
Posted by deepali in misc.7 comments
Today on my way to the metro, I watched a van try to pull into too small a space. In the process, he knocked into the car in front of him, denting the bumper. He also tore off his own side light. He was, of course, driving one-handed, the other hand holding a coffee cup.
I don’t own a car. I used to – bought a brand new 2000 model at the end of 2000 (when the new ones come in) and got it just over dealer invoice. Wasn’t the smartest choice I made, but also wasn’t the worst. We got a 3 year loan, with about 2.9%, so all told, it worked out relatively well.
Eight years later, I sold it. I realized that living in the ‘burbs, and then later living in the city, I barely drove my car. But I still had to pay for gas, maintenance, insurance, cleaning, etc. I still had to worry about people hitting my car, and breaking into my car. And I had to worry about bad drivers, of which I think I see more and more every day.
Now I have no car, and I take public transportation. I also walk, as much as I can. I would bike, but I never got around to getting one, and now it is too late as I will be departing the city soon.
I am a member of a car sharing program, but I’ve used it exactly 3 times, and the first time was simply because I had a credit to use up. It’s a good program, and I’m lucky to have cars near me. But I rarely use it.
I suppose if I ended up in a more rural area, I would end up buying a car again. But I suspect I’m more likely to go with a bike or a scooter, or some similar item. Or more likely, I won’t end up in a rural area.
I really don’t miss it. I watch gas go up and down, and I don’t miss it. I watch minivans hit volkswagons and I don’t miss it. I remember having to get the window fixed after someone broke in, and I don’t miss it.
I didn’t think I would be able to get rid of it, but once it was gone, a huge weight was lifted. Life is so much simpler this way.
stumbling December 15, 2008
Posted by deepali in personal growth.3 comments
I think one of the worst things for me to experience is watching someone else do something wrong. And by wrong I don’t mean to make a judgement, necessarily. Instead, I’m thinking about how we know that certain behaviors or habits are not good for us, and yet we indulge in them anyway.
So, for example, it’s always painful to watch someone use drugs. It’s always hard to see someone constantly acting out of anger or jealousy. It’s always difficult to know that someone is floundering without direction.
What do you do?
The best thing of course, is to let the person stumble, fall, and pick themselves up. Perhaps over and over. Sometimes that is hard, and I’ve been known to try to stick a cushion out there once in a while. It doesn’t help, really. A person needs to skin a knee, or break a bone, before they stop continuously tripping over the same rock (or, alternately, they find a new path to go down).
So how do you that? I imagine we first let go of our ideas of wrong and right. We let go of how we think life should be lived. We let go of our egos. We can also think about all the gazillions of poor choices we made, and how in the end, we still turned out ok. And then we take that sense of openness to the person whose life we are trying to fix, and just wish them peace and joy and contentment, no matter which path they are on. And maybe we reserve a little bit of those wishes for ourselves, for those times we find ourselves stumbling too.
december goals: week 2 check-in December 13, 2008
Posted by deepali in goals.1 comment so far
1. Take the lead class. I have the second class today. It’s not going as well as I had hoped, but not as bad as I had expected.
2. Exercise 4x a week. Climbed 3x and went to yoga 2x (3 if I can motivate today).
3. Get rid of books and bookshelf. The books are gone, now to get rid of the bookshelf. I have to box up some other things first.
diy December 11, 2008
Posted by deepali in budget, personal growth.3 comments
I love DIY. Which is a bit odd, considering I’m essentially a lazy undisciplined impatient easily distracted type person. So what is it about spending hours learning something I know nothing about, and trying multiple times to get something done (with lots of failures along the way), that I find so appealing?
Maybe it is the sense of accomplishment. Maybe we like to feel like we’ve actually done something, even if the time spent on it was worth way more than the actual end result, and we would have been better off getting a professional to do it.
Maybe it is the knowledge that you actually don’t have to hire a professional, because once you’ve invested the initial time and energy, the next time you have to do it, it’ll be pretty straightforward. And hey, you’ve saved a few bucks.
Maybe it is the feeling of empowerment. As a woman, I occaisonally feel the weight of history on me. We’ve come a long way, baby, but it is still often acceptable here and elsewhere to expect that a woman can’t do something. Being able to prove otherwise means finding your own inner strength, and demonstrating that maybe ultimately, there isn’t anything a man can do that a woman can’t match.
Maybe it is the satisfaction of proving convention wrong.
Maybe it is the anachronistic unconventionality of being able to sew my own clothes, paint my own nails, fix the garbage disposal, change a tire, upgrade my hard drive, put up curtains, light a fire, and grow my own vegetables. In theory, anyway.
Or maybe I’m just cheap.
