Paradigm Shifted

Anyone who knows me in IRL knows where the title of this post comes from – one of my alltime favorite books by Pema Chodron.   This particular book of hers talks about fearlessness and compassion, and has been very instrumental in helping me learn a new perspective on my life.

The message in these three words is important.  One Monday, I mentioned that we should try something that scares us every day.  For some people, this is unfathomable.  We like our “zones of safety” and deliberately putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations makes us feel awkward and frightened.

But consider this – what if there were no “zones of safety”?  What if you made them up, simply because you seek the familiar?  Where then do you seek comfort?

I think safety and certainty are illusions.  We know life is flux; change is the only constant. We know things move and adjust and adapt all around us.  So why do we cling so hard to something that isn’t real?

If we accept things as they are, we can take comfort in knowing that everything is a part of us – good and bad.  There is safety and comfort in knowing that you don’t have to hold to anything, and you don’t have to push anything away. Everything just is.

Instead of trying to grasp onto something that is always changing, try letting go and letting it swirl around you.  And maybe go a step further and deliberately put yourself into this swirling chaos.   It’s not nearly as scary as it might seem, and perhaps there can be growth and change there too.

Consider too, that holding onto the good comfortable feelings, also means holding onto the bad uncomfortable feelings. When you close up and tighten, you allow for everything to rage inside.  You keep good habits, but you also keep bad habits.  And letting go of one means letting of the other.  Instead, if we remain open to possibility, we find no judgement in either.

So for one day, try something new and scary to you.  Something small. Taste the fear and push through it.  See what it feels like to be unbalanced. Who knows – you might end up enjoying it.  Maybe take a different route to work.  Maybe eat something different.  Maybe stop and take a deep breath before shooting off a fiery email.  Maybe take the stairs instead of the elevator.  Whatever it is, do it consciously and with awareness.  And if it turns out to be an unmitigated disaster, take solace in knowing that no one is watching but you.